Only a mothe r could love this liver
two words...techno handjob
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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