eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
