He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
