Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
