I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize