yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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