Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
