can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
