Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
