So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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