i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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