Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
