she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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