guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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