how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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