Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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