i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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