I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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