I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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