She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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