i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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