Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
