Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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