Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
