yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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