Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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