God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize