Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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