Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
