if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
No subtext here. People are naked.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
