You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
