I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
It's Friday. Sex?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
