Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
