whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
