i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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