"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
