how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
