that's an acceptable place to lick
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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