I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
