Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
