well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
