Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
of course. lets lasso hookers.
two words: eviction party
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
