seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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