that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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