all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
