Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I want her autograph on my taint
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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