I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
