I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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