Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
