they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
