Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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