Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
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so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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