I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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