i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
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