Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
