ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
