so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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