I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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