you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
