Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You dont lie about slip and slides
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
