I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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