If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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